The Dirty Little Secret of Ballroom Dance

The dark side of ballroom dance for women and the bright side of it for men.

Ballroom dance is not as gloriously depicted on Dancing With The Stars. It’s dirty little secret is that men do ballroom dance for sex and money and women do it to get a husband. With more than a dozen women for every male, the odds favor the men. Men quickly figure it out and soon sleep with every woman there, successfully playing on her hopes of snagging a husband. That’s not just the single men, so do the married men. Like a condemned woman, she seizes for her hope any man. Therefore, women advertise that if a man doesn’t have something nice to say about his wife, “come dance with me.”

The instructors never teach ballroom dance. Instead, they only teach the men and women to take more lessons. The male instructors have the added benefit to the sex they get of also being paid for their “lessons.” Men quickly learn to “practice” with the women. The result is the incident of sexually transmitted diseases is extraordinarily high in the ballroom dance world. Another result is because ballroom dance attracts male sexual predators, they prey on the women desperate for a husband. Therefore, there is a high level of physical and emotional abuse in relationships with a man who ballroom dances.

Men are never as good of a dancer as the women because they know they do not have to be. Women who marry a man they met in the ballroom dance world think they have won a victory. However, the women soon find it was a Pyrrhic one.

First, if he does marry one of the women dancers, he still sleeps around. Second, because he knows how desperate the women are for a husband, and that women literally run up to the men to dance with them, he knows he can get away with mistreatment to the women. Third, men in the ballroom dance world usually have secrets. Like they’re married, sometimes twice at the same time. Alternatively, they’re a cross-dresser (ya think with the wardrobe and those costumes!) Or, they’re bisexual. Or, they’re gay. Or yes, they live in some rich place, but forget to tell her on a boat, a very small one, or in a trailer. Fourth, men who have figured out the benefits of the ballroom dance racket will commit Elder Abuse on the widows and single women by isolating her. They will flatter her, all the while fleecing her out of every dime as she pays for everything. First, she pays for his dance shoes. Next, it’s his dance lessons. Then it’s his wardrobe. Then he’s “borrowing” money from her. He buys her gifts. Too late she finds out he charged it to her account. Then he moves in with her but she pays for everything. Soon he gets her to elope to oh so romantic Lake Tahoe there getting married with a Confidential Marriage Certificate, a dubious offer at best and a hollow victory for her. She then puts his name on the free and clear house(s) and car(s) and the bank account(s). Then starts her downward slide. The now former dance partners square off as he then divorces her. He gets half of everything as she co-mingled everything into community property. More often than not, he even gets alimony. All along, he’s been sleeping around by saying his wife just doesn’t support his dancing, successfully repeating his pattern time and again. Then he’s on to his next victim, who he’s already had a covert operation going with.

So women, do ballroom dance and you’ll get your heart broke, your bank account emptied, broken bones and teeth, sexual diseases and lose your home and future. Men, run, do not walk, to the nearest ballroom dance. Sex, money and never having to work again is your reward. In the San Francisco Bay Area it’s: The Metronome, The Pavilion, The Starlight, and the City of Novato Parks and Recreation.

Copyright © 2008 Joan W reprinted with permission.

Photo from http://darksidechaplaincy.blogspot.com @ http://darksidechaplaincy.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_archive.html @ http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q59/sotonchaplain/ballroom/DSC02509.jpg&imgrefurl=http://darksidechaplaincy.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_archive.html&h=600&w=800&sz=237&tbnid=9RMAwGxxkgUKpM::&tbnh=107&tbnw=143&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsleazy%2Bballroom%2Bphoto&hl=en&usg=__cesO9lptbj89BruNlGPuAZN7CbM=&ei=XwTZSYGyMaPEtAOK_cCtCg&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=4&ct=image


Comments:

VeroniqueChevalier: Oh, my dear. This is just absolutely appalling! I hope that you are not one of the unfortunate ladies who lived these abuses personally. Thank you for writing this article. If it saves just one other woman from heartache, you will have done a great public service.

Kerry: I'd heard that about ballroom. It even looks sleazy on tv.

Lois: I agree with Joan. Over the years it sure seems the male teachers and male dancers had an affair with every woman at the dances. The men never mention they're married or have a girlfriend. Or they tell me they're separated. Look at Steve Rebello and Jim Olson and how many affairs and marriages they've had over the years they've successfully trolled the dances. It is difficult to compete just to dance when too many women literally do run up to the men who all a man has to do is show up at a dance. He can be fat, short, balding, married, ugly, smell, old or any combination of, and the women still run up to him vying to dance with him. As for the community college classes in ballroom dance, those teachers are the worst. Those classes are taught on the non-credit side. So those teachers have no credentials to teach nor does the college do a background check on them. Those community college teachers are like the ones at a city's recreation departments. These "teachers" submit their "proposal" and then get half of the "tuition" brought in by the "students" that attend. These community college teachers and recreation department teachers are not good enough to teach at a legitimate dance studio. The result is the community college and recreation department dance teachers teach you only to memorize a series of steps rather than to dance. The legitimate dance school instructors do not consider the community college or recreation department dances classes to be "quality." They consider them to be junk and find that "students" from those classes are a danger on the dance floor to themselves and to other dancers, as they recklesly attempt their memorized steps with no thought to floorcraft, timing, their partner or the other dancers. As for venues to go dancing, yes there are. However, there are a dozen women for every man. So the men get all the dancing, not the women. Ballroom dance is a racket and a sleazy one at that.

Credo: An unorthodox but fascinating topic for sure, can’t say that I ever knew about the jungle dance fever issues. This proves that there are stranger things in life than appears in books and fairy tales.

Credo

Ron: Right on Credo! If you can’t hang with the big dogs, stay on the porch I snarl my opinion of ballroom dance. Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way. Joan, get a backbone. Stop running up to the guys as if you’re some desperate whore peddling sex. Then you’ll start getting some respect. I entered into, and remain in, ballroom dance solely for one fact. It’s a connivance that sexually benefits me as a male. “Too much aggression is dangerous, but, then so is too little,” is from George R. Elder’s An Encyclopedia of Archetypal Symbolism. The first time, of hundreds of times to follow, a dozen or so women ran up to me at a ballroom dance, was intoxicating to me. I was dumfounded as they dragged me onto the dance floor, and then later into their beds. As I sorted it all out, I came to some conclusions. One conclusion I came to was the young ones were just looking to get pregnant with a claim on me for child support for the next twenty years. That’s when I got the vasectomy. Came in handy later when girls tried to nail me down as the contributor of the sperm that had gotten them knocked up. A second conclusion I came to was that the older women wanted to stake their husband claim on me. For some reason, women equate sex with marriage. That’s when I started telling women I did not love ‘em ‘cause those tramps and sluts certainly did not love me. A third conclusion I came to was that the younger women were great for quickies as their getting pregnant, not their orgasm, was their goal. A fourth conclusion I came to, was that the older women were much more grateful for an orgasm. That made my getting off even better as it was usually simultaneous with hers. Therefore, I evolved a system. “I must create a system, or be enslaved by another,” wrote William Blake, poet. To me that meant that I will not pay homage to any woman that runs to me. Why should I? I didn’t create the ballroom dance system. I don’t whine as I benefit from it. I don’t promise the women dancers anything. They want to pay for my dance lessons, clothes, meals, and dance camps, that’s okay with me. My system includes that I never lie to the female dancers. I’m not married, don’t want to be. I’m not a daddy, don’t want to be. I live alone, plan to stay that way. I’m not a cross-dresser, gay, or bi-sexual. I’m partial to the missionary position. I’m not into bondage. I do not require vinyl or leather or rubber to get off as so many of the male “dancers” do. I own my own home free and clear. I have a Masters degree. I have a pension. I’m looking to be laid, not become a better dancer. We go to her house not mine. I don’t pretend to be a ballroom dance instructor. When I was younger, it was seven times a week with seven different women as I couldn’t that many times with just one or two women. I’m quite a bit older now, so I’ve slowed down to four times a week with four different women although with a new female dancer on the scene I’m usually up for a fifth time that week. I’ve had STDs more times than I’ve cared to. In the thirty or so years I’ve been in the ballroom dance world, no woman has not run up to me. The day I meet a woman who does not run up to me at a dance, then spends five or so years investing her time with me with no sex, her leading by becoming and being my friend, who learns to love me as me, accepts me as I am, who develops a shared history with me so she knows all about me and still loves me, is the only woman I will follow, fight to win and marry. That is the only woman I will respect and love with fidelity, until death do us part. I would not share her with anyone; therefore, I would become a better dancer just for her. We would dance only with each other, and only in private, for the sheer pleasure of it, rather than to show off at a public dance. This “loves2dance” Broo “reader” with their asinine “comments” and “na” in their bio is a sicko jokester and an even sicker shill with their fako Broo name. There is no ballroom dance class taught anywhere in the Bay Area as an academic credit class. Duh. “loves2dance” is one of those non-credit male community college self-titled “ballroom dance instructors.” Or, even worse, a male recreation department self-titled “ballroom dance instructor.” A reject aka pervert aka watches himself in the mirror at the public ballroom dances. He hypocritically holds himself morally above the rest of us while he hides his own sex trolling cross-dressing double life. The type Joan wrote about.

Craig B: When Dancing With The Stars first came out I asked my wife if ballroom was something she was interested in us doing. She gave me that long cool direct look she had so perfected many years ago and flatly and dryly said “I catch you doing that ballroom dancing and you’ll be lucky if all I break is your leg.” Ouch. My wife just slugged my arm, saying “Don’t go getting any ideas Bubba.”

Morgana: Ballroom dance is notorious for its own vulgarity. Ron Montez, 7-Time (1979-1985) undefeated US Latin Ballroom Dance Champion says: “The man’s role is to frame and to circle and to present his partner. For that reason I dislike men’s see-through shirts intensely.” His wife Karla adds, “It takes away from the masculinity that we need to keep other viewers looking at this sport. Ron continues, “I prefer couples who along with technical mastery, have a good rapport and genuinely seem to be enjoying dancing with one another. It’s a very delicate balance. Some are too much into one another, like a social dance, and some are too into performing and doing a ham dance!” I add to that the “dancers” who incessantly watch themselves in the mirror.

Ballroom dance is also famous for discrimination as it is predominately young, white and not disabled. In All Kids Are Our Kids, Peter L. Benson writes “ . . . the cancerous spread of age segregation, in which adults and children go their separate ways. The architect and design of communities and neighborhoods isolate families, and virtually every program and institution is organized to meet age-specific needs at the expense of the richness of intergenerational community. The public perception of danger and the rise of mistrust freezes connectedness and undermines community.” In accordance with Executive Order 11246, Title VII Civil Rights Act (1964) as amended by the Equal Employment Opportunity Act of 1972; Title IX Regulation Tool Education Amendments of 1972; Section 504, Rehabilitation Act of 1973, the Americans With Disabilities Act; the 1991 Civil Rights Acts, and all other federal and state rules, laws, regulations and policies concerning nondiscrimination, ballroom dance is supposed to be nondiscriminatory on the basis of sex, age, race, color, religion, handicap, or national origin.

Ballroom dance also rips off musical artists. Music, Archival Sound Recording and Synchronization licensing requirements apply to all ballroom dance studios, dance instructors, dance operators, dance associations, dance clubs, dance bands, dance DJs, dance organizers, municipal recreation departments who have music in their classes, non profits who have music in their classes, etc. The article in the San Francisco BrooWaha Feasting At The Public Trough missed mentioning the fact that municipal recreation departments are also required to obtain copyright permission for the music used in their programs. That is more feasting at the public trough as it is another unfair economic benefit at the public expense and is another detriment to artists as dozens of music artists are repeatedly deprived of lawful income as a result, another dirty secret.


“Teaching for pay makes an amateur a professional,” according to the United States Dance Sport Eligibility Committee. For several years now, the cities of Reno & Sparks, Nevada and Washoe County, Nevada has all required finger printing and police cards for their instructors of programs involving youth under the age of 18, and One Million Dollars in liability insurance. Washoe County, Nevada also requires accreditation from a member organization of the National Dance Council of America (NDCA), city, county and state business licenses, and BMI, ASCAP & SESAC music performance licenses from their dance instructors and that their instructors pay business and personal income taxes on their revenues, like any legal business owner. These requirements eliminated many of the "instructors."

jake strong: Joan's article seems like an expression of her pain, full of absolutes about male dancers. The human condition is ripe with vulgarity, abusers, womanizers, hustlers, hookers and pimps. Some people are users and others are victims. Surely all this activity is not limited to the world of ballroom dancing.

I am a Lindy -hop dancer and an amateur ballroom dancer. Dance is senuous by nature. The physical contact feels great as two bodies move to a rhythm. Many good leads are also musicians and dancing is a real time expression of a great blues, or jazz song. I dance because it puts me in the moment and pushes away worries about stocks, divorce, and the state of humanity.

When I Lindy-hop and blues dance, women half my age ask me to dance. We will have a sexy blues dance, thank each other and move on to the next partner. I suppose the young girls are using me for a dance. So be it!

More drunken sex would occur after Friday happy hour at the local watering hole than at the dances I attend. Dance is a conversation. The ladies are sober. Some are sexy and some are athletic and fun. Can you get laid as a male dancer? I should hope so. You already have her in your arms and women love men who make an effort to dance. But dance is a community; people know each other and reputations must be maintained.

I would like to have a beer with Ron. He could enlighten me on his Machiavellian techniques to use women at his leisure. Perhaps I can find a lady to take care of me and pay me to dance? According to Joan-because I actually like to be nice to women-I should make a great catch compared to the mutts she writes about. It sounds better than hustling stocks. I apparently have no idea of the power I hold in my dancing feet. Ace Bigelow dance/stock gigolo.

My experience at a chain ballroom studio was a money hustle. Divorced women spending their alimony seemed common. All the instructors would flirt shamelessly but were not allowed to date students. My lady teachers made me feel like a million dollars. Unfortunately they cost a substantial percentage of that million. I wish I could afford them. Sleaze is everywhere. Is it more prevalent in ballroom dancing? Perhaps, but dancing lends itself to high quality, clean fun.

Growing up in a church, I would prefer dancing sleaze to church sleaze. There is more action between the pastor and some lonely woman counseling for a divorce, than there is at a big city Lindy dance in the heart of Chicago. Go to Fizz nightclub Monday nights in Chicago. You will find the best Lindy-blues-balboa dancers in the city. There are couples, singles, and people about to meet. The leads and follows are there for a great dance. Most people have many dance partners for the evening. If someone meets the man or woman of their dreams, all the sweeter. The scene however is social and dance till you drop.

Lucy Ong: A similar thing happened to me as the author describes here. Since that terrible experience, I no longer have anything whatsoever to do with ballroom dancing. I met a nice man, at the library. We are now in a committed relationship. If he ever has anything to do with the ballroom dance racket, that'll be the immediate end of our relationship.